A couple of months back, I wrote about an opportunity we received to share a retreat in a prison in Tapachula, Chiapas, Mexico.
We were super excited about this amazing opportunity to share what we have to offer with people who really need it, but it didn’t work out.
But! The woman who organized it kept in touch, and last Thursday, Sasha and Kirill went to a women’s prison in Mexico City to lead a retreat there!
(I had to stay home because of a very non-committal Karma Yoga team who decided to bail on us with 1 day's notice.)
This week, I asked Sasha to write an account of the experience to share with you all.
Despite months of talking and preparing, the actual confirmation from the prison that we would be allowed to share the retreat arrived just 2 days before we had to leave!
After 22 hours on the bus, we arrived at the prison, and after several more hours of security checks, we were finally inside this gigantic concrete city.
A Turbulent, but Rewarding Journey
From the moment the whole process began, the obstacles seemed insurmountable. After weeks of paperwork and a series of setbacks, I was ready to abandon the plan. But a voice inside reminded me of the efforts of Rosa Julia Leyba, a remarkable woman who had spent 13 years wrongfully imprisoned. Despite this and being in a wheelchair with several other major health issues, she devoted herself to improving the lives of other prisoners. Her story and unwavering faith inspired me to push forward.
Upon arrival, we met Rosa Julia—a woman of extraordinary spirit despite her physical ailments. Her presence was joyous and it deeply touched us. Her joy at our arrival was infectious. She was obviously in some difficulty, yet she radiated hope and gratitude. Meeting her, I was so glad that we followed through with the plan and didn’t back out.
She makes very very little money doing what she does.
Into The Prison
Entering the prison was a grueling process, filled with security checks and bureaucratic hurdles. Once inside, the environment was stark and oppressive—high gray walls, concrete floors, and no greenery, save for some plastic grass. To its testament, though, it was very, very clean and well-ordered inside. The prison itself is so big that the staff number over 2,000.
The women we met were anxious and guarded. Some of them had been there for more than 10 years just awaiting trials. Many of the women (just like Rosa Julia) were wrongly imprisoned or were considered guilty and imprisoned simply because they were married to drug dealers, or to politicians who got themselves into trouble. Others have over 400 years remaining on their sentences.
It seems that a common feature of prison life is aggression and violence. For this reason, the women had to wear a constant hard, defensive shell which made it difficult for them to ever open up about their feelings. In fact, Rosa Julia told us that until this retreat she had never seen most of the women cry or share how they felt or look happy.
A Unique Retreat Indeed
Our retreat began amidst the chaos of the prison. Despite the noise, constant interruptions (of which there were MANY), and a lack of basic comforts (of which there were truly very few, there weren’t even meditation cushions to sit on, only more concrete), we started our sessions.
Full silence and ‘ideal’ retreat conditions were difficult due to the rhythms of prison life. So a lot of improvisation was needed. We did many short sessions with breaks since many of the women were so anxious that they could hardly sit still for more than 20 or 30 minutes.
We shared practices of meditation, pranayama, self-inquiry, and the power of an open heart.
The atmosphere was initially tense, but gradually, moments of peace began to emerge. Full silence was nearly impossible due to the unavoidable motions of regular prison life. On top of this, some of the women (and more as the days went on) seemed so desperate for someone to connect with that we didn’t ask them to remain in silence.
Getting to Know These Amazing Women
As the days passed, the women opened up, sharing their stories of immense suffering. Despite their hardships, their gentle and cautiously opening hearts shone through in moments of profound connection and vulnerability.
Some shared the difficulties of the death of loved ones on the outside while they were stuck inside, unable to help and barely able to communicate with them.
Many spoke of the constant violence or fear of violence from other inmates.
Many more of the women had been abandoned by their families when they were incarcerated and so were basically alone besides whatever semblance of friendship they could form inside the prison.
One woman told a story of her husband, who was dying of cancer in another prison. They
hadn’t been able to speak in a long time, and she knew that he would soon die and they would never see each other again. This woman was actually the wife of a politician who was wrongfully accused of the kidnapping and murder of 42 students a few years back. Neither of them were ever convicted of any wrong doing.
I was amazed to discover that there were many indigenous women in the prison, many of whom did not know Spanish when they were imprisoned. Some were able to learn while they were there. Suicide rates among these women were very high since it was so difficult for them to be isolated from the other inmates due to the language barrier.
From Tribulation to Transformation
After the first session, about half of the women left. Fifty or sixty women stayed committed and made it to the end of the retreat.
Even though conditions were far from ideal, we kept going, and they kept practicing. The women were so touched by the retreat that the few who actually had chances to see or speak to their families moved the appointments to prioritize what they were learning.
A few of the women were taking notes on every technique and yoga posture, hoping to share what they were learning with the many other women who were not in attendance.
In the midst of this suffering, a sense of community and compassion blossomed. The women, who initially hesitated to share or show emotion, began to express gratitude, hope, and love. Their courage and resilience were a testament to the power and importance of the heart in any process of transformation.
By the end of our time together, a profound transformation had taken place. The women were so much more open, their faces reflecting peace and hope. They expressed incredible gratitude for the retreat, seeing it as a beacon of light in their challenging lives.
They came for (a lot of) hugs (something that is normally not allowed by the prison rules) to which the guards turned a blind eye since seeing the women open and willing to hug anyone was such a rarity.
They promised to come to visit us in San Cristobal when they got out (the ones who would eventually get out), and they said that they would send their relatives to do retreats with us. Mostly, they begged us to return so that they could keep practising and learning more.
Many said that they had been looking/hoping/praying for exactly this and that these 4 days together were worth being in prison for. I was so touched to hear that they considered this retreat a kind of divine sign.
In the final session of practice together, we learned and explored the practice of tonglen.
Many women said during the sharing that they were able to find forgiveness and peace inside themselves, that they were able to transmute hatred and suffering into love and acceptance. Some said that during the tonglen practice they felt supported by a kind of divine presence that “was able to radiate love when they themselves could not”.
Due to the number of inmates and the demand for the phones, each inmate is allowed only 10 minutes of phone calls with their families every 3 months. My heart broke when they described how much they loved talking to their loved ones, and how painful it was for them in the weeks following these short but treasured calls.
Beauty Comes In the Oddest Packages
From my side, it was at first difficult to know how to share these teachings. I wondered how to talk about the joy and the beauty of life to people in such desperate and sometimes hopeless situations. I have to admit that I felt a lot of pressure and uncertainty.
Once it became clear that the ‘standard’ flow of the Hridaya retreat was not really going to be an option, I realized I would have to get creative. For the most part I emphasized again and again that I could see so much beauty in them.
I encouraged them to contemplate the rare and precious opportunity presented by human life. I emphasized that the primary “purpose” of this life in a human form is to awaken and that they could recognize and were worthy of seeing their own divine essence, that they were able to experience unshakeable peace and love, regardless of the external conditions. It seemed to help them when I suggested that the nature of their situation could actually inspire an urgency in their practice.
By the end, they were crying, hugging me, my dad, and each other. They were singing together and encouraging each other to deepen their practice and share it with the other inmates. The atmosphere was practically euphoric. We couldn’t possibly have imagined or hoped that the retreat would make such an incredibly profound impact on these women's lives.
At the End of It All
This journey was a humbling experience. The strength, humility, and generosity of the women left an indelible mark on my heart. I am deeply grateful to Rosa Julia for her tireless efforts, to the prison staff for their support, and to all who made this retreat possible.
As we left, the women gifted us small tokens of their appreciation—an apple, a pack of cookies, handmade jewellery. (By the time I left l looked like a christmas tree with so many necklaces and bracelets). These gestures, from those who had so little, were profoundly touching.
I am so deeply grateful to Rosa Julia for the incredible and selfless work that she does and for this opportunity and I hope this will be the start of a journey together to share these incredible teachings with as many Mexican prisoners as possible.
We left with a renewed sense of purpose and a commitment to return and continue this work.
A Final Word
If you made it this far, then thank you so much for reading and supporting. We intend to continue these trips to teach in as many prisons as we can. The prison systems here have very little money for these kinds of projects, so we paid all of our expenses ourselves, something that we won't always be able to do. (Incase it needs to be said, we were not paid for this retreat). For this reason we will soon launch a GoFundMe campaign to help cover the costs of travel for these retreats. If you see it appear anywhere, your support would be hugely appreciated!
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