With the premise that the human psyche is incredibly complex and that we may never fully understand it, there still seem to be some mechanisms we can observe experientially, such as the ways in which our personality reacts to the environment.
Here, we are going to explore these mechanisms and the causes of trauma/constriction, simplifying and generalizing some concepts so we can gain a general idea of how our psyche (body-mind-heart) seems to work.
Survival Mode
We all have physical bodies, and we know that there are ingrained patterns that are essential for maintaining our physical survival. We may call it the instinct of survival, etc. We identify ourselves with our bodies most of the time; thus, an automatic opposition arises—there is “me” and the external world. The external world is perceived as full of potential danger and harm, so our physical bodies exhibit a range of behavioural patterns and reactions that help us survive. This makes perfect sense.
Perceived external threat stimulates the Sympathetic nervous system, better known as the fight-or-flight response. When the sympathetic nervous system is activated blood from the main internal organs flows into our extremities so we can run or fight. Stress hormones, specifically cortisol, are released in greater quantities; our hearts beat faster, we become sharper, or more vigilant, constantly scanning the environment for danger and our physical bodies become better equipped to protect ourselves and survive.
Humans and Animals
Here, we already encounter three main aggravating factors for humans compared to the animal world.
Limited Sense of Self
We create a sense of self out of everything, animals do not. Any threat to that sense of self triggers the same response. Sources of threat to the existence of that self include the obvious things like proximity to physical violence, but also include:
Actual or perceived insults or criticism
Deadlines at work
Rent payments (if money is tight)
Whether or not our friends like our posts of Instagram
The fact that the cool kinds at school looked at me or didn’t
The Illusory Future
We think of the future, the future is unknown and unknowable, the uncertainty surrounding future events, causes stress and anxiety, which stimulates the same fight or flight response. Numerous studies have shown that for the brain, imagining and actually living a certain experience is almost the same. Thus, when we imagine something, the same reactions start being activated in our bodies as if we were actually experiencing it.
Completing the Cycle
You can easily find videos on YouTube of animals who, after fighting or facing a threat to their lives, thrash, shake and scream, then return to simply grazing. It may seem funny or strange from the outside, but it’s actually an essential regulation mechanism. by shaking etc. these animals are releasing the energy from their systems that was just used to fighting or running and allowing their system to return back to neutral.
Sadly human have largely forgotten and suppressed this natural impulse to return to harmony.
Emotional Energy Serves a Specific Purpose
The purpose of emotion, is to mobilize thought and action towards desired or necessary outcomes. So any time you feel an emotion, know that there is a need wanting to be met. Looking a little deeper into this, some actually suggest that there are very specific types of movement related to each of our emotions.
The problem arises when we cannot express those movements, causing the energy to become stuck in our body/nervous system. when energy is trapped, our responses tend not to mature as we do.
For example, let’s say your computer breaks, or you get stuck in a long queue, or your partner says something that hurts you, it doesn’t make sense to scream and throw your toys around like a child, that won’t really help you meet the need that you might not even recognise that you have. Yet at some point, a parent or teacher or some careless adult likely shut down your younger self’s way of responding to threat or discomfort. You learned to hold back or cut the flow of energy rather than being taught how to let it flow more harmoniously. This shut down may even have been a response to the deeper need for safety, if for example your emotions would make your care givers angry, who would then shut you down aggressively.
Thus, we might want or even need to move or allow the energy to flow through us, but we have to contain our anger, leading to energy becoming stuck. Furthermore, we are not taught how to let energy move without harming others and without suppressing it—in other words, how to digest emotions.
Now, as an adult, anything that triggers the same or similar emotional reaction, will trigger the same suppressed energy and infantile behaviour that was never allowed to mature.
If it is just a single, relatively insignificant scenario, it might not affect us much, we may feel a loss of energy and tiredness, but it may not leave an impression on our psyche. However, if it is a repetitive situation, it will leave an impression (samskara) in our psyche, manifesting as constriction in the physical body and an emotional/energetic blockage.
Ready to be free from these patterns
The Impulse That Moves Us
Having said all this, we now arrive at the point. There is a living impulse, a divine intuition (Pratibha) that rises from the depths of our being, our divine essence. According tot he tantric tradition, this pure impulse is: 1) the only impulse driving the entire universe, from the explosions of stars and solar systems to the most private thoughts you have. 2) This impulse always rises in perfect harmony with the rest of the pattern of the whole.
The natural process would be: I feel the creative impulse in my being, as it grows (over seconds, weeks or years) it crystallises as an idea, intuition and prior knowledge coalesce into a kind of plan, I find resources within myself to follow through with it, and I allow this impulse to express through my being and manifest in my life. Everything flows, and an act of creation takes place. Ideally, I would enjoy it fully, yet without attachment, being able to let go of it when the time comes. Creation, maintenance, dissolution... a universal principle.
The Cumbersome Human Condition
In our case, this impulse rises from the depths of the ocean of our being and is expressed through the instruments available, namely, this body-mind-heart with all of its layers of conditioning. This otherwise pure impulse (pure simply meaning unconditioned) is then clouded or distorted by our unresolved conditioning. Even with our best, most sincere, and bravest intentions, it can be incredibly difficult to see this as it happens and as a result our thoughts, feelings and actions typically conform to our conditioning.
However, for most people, it doesn’t work that way.
Between the inspiration (A) and the destination (B) all of the vicious webs and cycles of conditioning, past failures, childhood traumas, socio-cultural expectations, imposed limitations etc. The fact that we failed some exams at school, the fact that our mother never believed we could succeed, seeing the failure of our parents when they were chasing their own dreams and so so many other factors impede the natural flow of life. If the mind was a beaver, then every emotionally charged memory of your past, positive and negative, make up the dam that restricts the unimpeded flow of grace through you into the world.
Developmental Trauma
“From the very beginning of our lives, even before we are born, we organize ourselves in response to our environment. We pull away—with our bodies and consciousness—from whatever is painful or overwhelming, and we constrict those parts of ourselves that experience pain. (...) As children, exquisitely attuned and reactive to the responses of other people, particularly our caregivers, as well as to the sensory stimuli in our environment, we have created this shape of who we are.” - Judith Blackstone 'Trauma and the Unbound Body'
As children, we develop constrictions in response to painful or overwhelming experiences—tightening our hearing to block out loud arguments, constricting our chests after unreciprocated love, or suppressing our voice when it feels unsafe to speak. These patterns often mirror the behaviors of our caregivers, as we instinctively adapt to gain approval or avoid rejection. Over time, such constrictions limit not only our ability to experience physical pain but also our capacity for sensual pleasure, leaving us disconnected from the full expression of our being.
As we grow, these protective constrictions evolve into compensatory patterns, like puffing out our chests to simulate confidence or collapsing inward to appear smaller. Repeated over time, these patterns become ingrained bonds in the body, shaping how we interact with the world. Similarly, a single extreme event—such as an accident or trauma—can leave lasting imprints, further restricting the natural flow of energy and expression in our lives.
“These constrictions serve the vital purpose of keeping ourselves intact, preventing us from losing our central organizing function that maintains our awareness of ourselves and our environment. They help us manage our surroundings so that we are not overwhelmed and enable us to maintain, as much as possible, the love and approval from our caregivers that we need for our survival and development. So, while our constrictions may diminish and fragment us, they keep us from shattering.” - Judith Blackstone
The Consequence of Life Long Constrictions
These are just small and relatively innocent examples. However, the key point is that our lives are filled with situations, blockages, and unresolved experiences that prevent us from fully living, enjoying, and flowing. Ultimately, they hinder our ability to open our hearts, bodies, and minds and remain open, becoming authentic expressions of who we truly are. All these blockages stand in the way of expressing the divine impulse and living a fulfilling life.
However, we constrict the full and free expression of our innate qualities. We come to view ourselves as limited personalities. We defend our right to be “me”; we want others to love “me” as I am. Yet eventually, there is no self-acceptance, and this personality we identify with is merely a constricted shape full of wounds. True embodiment occurs when we fully inhabit the internal space of our bodies and embrace everything that flows through them, including pain. At that point, we have the opportunity to release, dissolve, and digest those “frozen” unresolved experiences, enabling us to feel freer and lighter. We gain more space, openness, and transparency.
Throughout our lives, we accumulate blockages and unresolved experiences that prevent us from fully living, flowing, and expressing our authentic selves. These constrictions, which once served to protect us, ultimately limit the free expression of our innate qualities and leave us identifying with a wounded, constricted personality. While we defend this "me" and seek validation from others, true self-acceptance remains elusive. Genuine embodiment begins when we fully inhabit our bodies, embracing all experiences—including pain. This process allows us to release and dissolve frozen patterns, creating space for greater freedom, openness, and transparency in our lives.
Deeply Embodied Presence is the Key
Through the practice of presence, we learn to let thoughts and emotions arise and fade without becoming entangled in them. Over time, this lessens their grip on us. For most people, however, this skill is unknown or out of reach. Instead, the common reaction to triggered thoughts and feelings is either to suppress them or to fully believe them, getting lost in a reactive, judgement-based story. Thoughts amplify feelings, which in turn fuel more thoughts, creating a cycle that clouds our perception of reality and reduces experiences to echoes of unresolved past events.
For example, imagine a man who sees a woman on the street and feels drawn to ask for her number. While he feels attraction and excitement, his mind recalls past rejections and failed relationships, triggering feelings of pain and disempowerment. His body responds with the impulse to escape or freeze, leaving him divided and confused. Even if he approaches her, he carries a sense of stress, and even success won’t necessarily resolve the emotional baggage from past experiences. If he chooses not to act, it becomes another interrupted intention, adding to the backlog of unresolved feelings.
This cycle shows how past blockages distort our present experiences, keeping us stuck in fear, doubt, and hesitation. If, however, the man practised embodied presence, he could acknowledge his feelings without being gripped by them. Sitting in full acceptance of his perceived fears, he might feel a space pen up, where the blocked energy could start to flow, allowing him to approach the woman confidently—even if the fear doesn’t disappear entirely. After all, if he’s unafraid of his own feelings, why should he fear hers?
True presence invites us to step out of these patterns, allowing us to meet life with clarity and openness instead of being ruled by the echoes of the past.
The good news is that embodiment practices and meditation, as well as body-oriented therapy, help to disentangle the body and enable us to inhabit it more fully, recognizing our essence not beyond the body, but within it. We begin to feel free within our body-mind-heart without avoiding or excluding anything. We rediscover the ground of our being, and while abiding there, we can “allow any movement of life to pass through us” without affecting the essence.
The Problem of Transcending Problems
Sometimes, spiritual practices can lead to disembodiment and it can seem easier to indulge in transcendentalism—saying, “I am not this; I am beyond the body-mind”—than to confront and dissolve our core blockages. People may feel distanced from their bodies, feeling diffused instead of present with their whole being, leading to feelings of heightened sensitivity, vulnerability, and ungroundedness.
Yet, one of the hallmarks of mature spiritual practice is the capacity to allow any movement of life, including the movement of pain, to flow through our being. When we truly realize the ground of being, we come to understand that nothing can affect our true essence.
Story or No Story
Most spiritual teachers suggest we should release the story and remain with the feelings/experiences alone, often without even naming them. If this works, then great! When it doesn’t appear to be working, we can bring that story into therapeutic work. Often it is very beneficial to recall the circumstances, feelings, and bodily sensations associated with the traumatic moment. (Of course it goes without staying that a skilled therapist will guide you into just as much story as is needed for clear seeing while ensuring you do not wallow in it).
This allows the psyche and body to find a way to unbind and digest that experience from the body-mind-heart. In such cases, the story becomes a pathway to disentangling the pattern. There may be a need to move the body or energy to fully express and dissolve the frozen impulse that ultimately became a blockage. Many times, it is not possible to remember the circumstances in which this pattern emerged, but while working on a deeper level of the subconscious through images, sensations, and metaphors, it dissolves anyway, even if we do not recall the specific story or circumstances.
As we release these bonds, we attain a greater sense of our internal volume and our ability to take up space. We reclaim more of our being, which means we actually feel more alive and transparent.
It is beneficial to understand how these things operate within us. Yet, as always, the main point—and the main challenge—is to practice it. A lot of resistance will arise in the process.
In our Enlightening the Unconscious retreat, as well as in individual sessions, we dive deeply into practice, and indeed, people notice immediately more energy, more aliveness, and a greater sense of lightness and transparency.
It feels like shedding heavy weights and regaining access to the energy that was previously frozen or stuck, and returning to a more naturally youthful state. By releasing energetic & psycological, we can move more freely from point A (our dream/idea) to point B (the actualization of it) without getting stuck, but rather with a sense of flow, enjoyment, trust, and intrinsic safety, regardless of the circumstances.
If you're ready to do the work, check out these options: 1:1 Non-dual Somatic Psychotherapy Sessions with Sasha
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